How to Avoid the Comparison Trap

As a coach in both the nutrition and CrossFit spaces, I’m lucky to engage with people about their goals. It’s an absolute blessing to be part of those journeys. But one recurring theme I notice is how often people compare their progress and results to those around them.

And honestly? It can be so detrimental to long-term success and mental health. That’s what inspired me to write this post today.

Just this morning, I saw a post in a women’s CrossFit Facebook group:

“What’s a good 400m run time for a woman?”

I’ve seen plenty of similar questions:

• “What’s a good back squat PR?”
• “How much should I be able to clean, snatch, or lift?”
• “What’s a good Fran time?”
• “How much weight should I be losing?”
• “Why isn’t my body responding like theirs, even though I’m doing the same workouts?”

Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.

Comparison can also sneak in through social media or even casual conversations. Whether you’re looking at a friend’s PR or scrolling through fitness influencers, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring yourself against others.

It’s not that I dislike the act of asking questions or seeking benchmarks. I get it—it’s human nature, especially in today’s social media-driven culture. What bothers me is the comparison trap these questions often create.

Why the Numbers Don’t Matter

At the end of the day, does it really matter what a “good” 400m run time is?

Does it really matter what a “good” back squat PR is?

You, my friend, are on your own journey—whether you’re trying to get stronger, faster, or healthier. Comparing yourself to someone else isn’t just unhelpful; it’s unfair.

Why? Because the person you’re comparing yourself to likely has:

• A different body
• A different history
• Different DNA
• Different goals
• A completely different life

And maybe—just maybe—they’ve been working toward their goals for years longer than you have.

Is comparing your beginner 400m time to someone else’s years-in-the-making pace really going to help? Or is it more likely to discourage you?

The Cost of Comparison

I once spoke with a woman after class who was pumped about her workout. She crushed it and felt amazing.

Later that day, I ran into her again. Her mood had totally shifted. She said, “I was so happy about my workout until I saw everyone else’s scores for the day.”

Nothing about her workout had changed. It was the same workout she’d felt so proud of earlier. But that comparison turned her joy into disappointment.

It broke my heart.

I see the same thing happen in nutrition coaching. A client might lose 5 pounds in a month—an incredible accomplishment!—but then feel disappointed when they see someone else lost 10.

Instead of celebrating their own progress, they feel like they’re falling short. They’re blinded to the fact that their consistent habits could lead to 50-60 pounds of weight loss in a year.

Comparison steals their joy. Worse, it can derail their motivation entirely.

What Can You Do About It?

It might not be possible to completely stop comparing yourself to others—we’re social creatures, after all. But you can become more aware of when it’s happening and actively redirect your focus.

Here are three strategies I recommend:

1. Unfollow accounts that don’t serve you.
   If someone’s posts make you feel discouraged or distracted from your goals, it’s time to hit “unfollow.” Your social media feed should inspire and uplift you—not drag you down.

2. Celebrate your own wins.
   I know it might sound cheesy, but creating a habit of celebrating your progress has a real impact on your mindset. It trains your brain (specifically your reticular activating system—look it up!) to focus on the positive. Keep a “wins journal” and write down something you’re proud of every day.

3. Track your progress.
   Measurements, lifts, run times—whatever aligns with your goals, track it. When you can compare you to you, you’ll see how far you’ve come, which is way more motivating than comparing yourself to someone else.

Why This Matters

I know it’s a cliché, but clichés exist for a reason:

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

And it’s not just joy—it’s also the thief of progress.

So, with love, I say this: stay in your own lane. That’s where the magic happens. Your lane is where you’ll grow, thrive, and feel amazing.

Stay there, and I promise—you’ll go far.

Coach Ashleigh

P.S. If you want to dive into your goals a little deeper, but you don't know where to start, or maybe feel stuck where you are at, check out my coaching programs, there something there for you, I promise!